Week 4 – Being a responsible adult

The red light is flashing on my answering machine.
I press the button.
I still have one of those old fashioned ones for my landline.
No-one ever leaves a message on it.
Except for someone trying to sell me a kitchen, credit card or how I could better my home insurance.
And my Mum.
She calls it and leaves a message.
Everyone else uses my mobile.

I listen to the message.
“Hi it’s Mum. Your dad and I are just leaving now.
We’ll probably be at yours about 10:30.”

I look at the clock.
It’s 10:10am.
I’m in my pyjamas.
I have a hangover from hell.

The flat’s a tip.
Empty wine bottles – both red and white.
Bottles of half drunk beer.
An opened bottle of vodka that still has some left in it.

The coffee table has red wine stains on it.
There is an ashtray brimming over with stubbed out cigarettes.
CDs are scattered all over the floor out of their cases.
And finally I notice a couple of plastic containers with the remainder of chips and cheese in them.

My parents arrive in twenty minutes.
I need to get my flat and myself sorted and tidied up.

I feel dizzy.
I sit down and rest my head in my hands.
I think I might actually still be a wee bit drunk…
I feel sick.

Last night the club had shut at 2am.
No-one had wanted to go home.
We had needed somewhere to go.
Everyone had talked me into going back to my flat.
I live alone.
No-one to wake up.

It probably wasn’t such a good idea.
Everyone did not leave until about 5:30am.

Now they will all be sleeping their hangovers off in their beds.
Where as I have my parents arriving in seventeen minutes.
And a family christening to go to.

I stand up.
I start picking up glasses and bottles and take them to the kitchen.
I open the windows and spray air freshener, deodorant and perfume to get rid of the smell of smoke.
I throw the stale cigarette butts and empty take away containers in the bin and quickly wipe the stains off the table.

All the running around has made me feel dizzy.
I rest my head on the couch.
Five minutes sleep before my parents arrive.
It’s 10:20am.
I can have a shower and be ready in ten minutes…

My doorbell wakes me up.
I sit up quickly.
It takes me a second to remember what I am doing today.
Then I remember.

I answer the door to my parents.
In my pyjamas.
It’s 10:35am.

My dad looks shocked.
My mum looks disappointed.

“Sorry I’m running late” I say.
“Not feeling too good”

Before they get a chance to say anything I disappear into the bathroom.
I hear my dad asking
“Why isn’t she ready? We need to be there in twenty minutes. She’s known about this for weeks.”

I switch on the shower to drown out their words.
I feel I have disappointed them.
I know how important today is.
We are a close family.
I feel fifteen again.
Like the time they caught me underage drinking.

I switch off the shower.
I remember I have not ironed my dress.
I open the door and ask my mum if she can do this.
My dad’s response is that I can do it myself.
My mum’s response is to get out the ironing board and iron my dress.

I go to my room to get ready.
I can hear my dad
“You always help her out. She’s thirty years old”
My mum replies.
“We need to leave on time. That’s why I am doing it.”

I can tell by my mum’s voice she is annoyed.
I have now caused friction between my parents.
This is going to be one of those days when we all now don’t talk to each other.
Which is a shame really.
We usually get on well.

I hear my dad throwing the empty bottles in the bin.
I turn my hairdryer on to block out the noise.

My dad asks what time I got to my bed.
I again feel fifteen.
I lie.
I tell him I can’t remember.
He gives me a disappointed look.
He goes to say something but my mum stops him.

The thing is this isn’t the first time I have done something like this.
It has happened before other family functions.
Anniversaries.
Birthdays.
Christmas meals.
Even just day trips when my parents have driven the two hour drive to come and see me.

Before these I have gone out the night before.
The next day I have been:
Hung-over.
Tired.
And late.

My parents have a big thing for punctuality.
Usually I do too.
If I haven’t been out drinking.

I am now ready.
It’s 10:55am
It’s ten minutes drive to the church.
We’re going to be late.

We all get in the car.
My dad drives.
We all sit in silence.
I wish I had not gone out last night.
I was actually looking forward to today.